Italian Wedding's (Part 1 of 2)

Bananas and I went to a wedding last weekend and before I can discuss that wedding, we must discuss the Italian wedding. Here are a few things we should all know.

* Gaudy is great: I never support gaudy, but when it comes to one of these wedding, gaudy is encouraged. For example, my brother had the ice sculpture martini glass that dispensed apple martinis all night long. As ridiculous as this was, it was a self service martini dispenser. Where do you see those?

* Family: Italian families are big....huge. My dad is the youngest of eight kids and as a result I am the youngest of 22 cousins (most of those cousins are married with kids). Granted, names like Vinny, Anthony, and Maria begin to repeat but there is tons of family all over the place. My dad's side of the family alone takes up at least 6-8 tables at one of these events. Seating is crucial because the older crowd must be far away from the band, but directly off the dance floor for a good view as to what's wrong with today's youth. The cousins are easy....as long as the music is good and the drinks are flowing, life is nice.

My cousin Anna on her wedding day

* Food: I feel for people when they go to their first Italian wedding. These people should wear stickers or have a mentor during the event. First things first...never eat before one of these. A wedding is like surgery, no food or drink at least 12 hour prior to the event. My second piece of advice, pace yourself. I promise you won't go home hungry and if you are on the dance floor when your pasta plate gets taken away...don't worry, more food is coming shortly. This section has to be broken up into sections:

-cocktail hour: most first timers think this is all the food that will be offered during the entire night. You can pick out a first timer by the amount of times they get food at the various stations that can include (but not limited to): veggies, cheeses, seafood, carving station, pasta station, hot antipasto, cold antipasto, breads, and people walking around with trays of food.

This is what not to do during cocktail hour, even if you are the one getting married

- first course: typically a quarter cantaloupe with a piece of prosciutto on top. This starts the night and cleanses the palette of cocktail hour. First timers would be thinking, "what the hell is this...you call this a salad?"
- salad: usually a tossed garden salad. First timer is now thinking, "wow, two salads!"
- pasta dish: Typical penne dish with a nice plain sauce. Not the biggest portion, but it will satisfy your carb craving. After this course the newbie is thinking, "I'm starting to get full, damn."
- main course: This is usually a choice of beef, chicken or seafood. Vegetarians do not exist in my culture. This is a huge plate of the choice meat with veggies and some sort of potato (never a baked potato). The newbie is thinking, "I wish I didn't eat all of that during cocktail hour because this looks good." This plate is rarely cleaned off, even the experienced attendee knows not to finish it off.

The cake table at Venetian Hour

- Venetian Hour: This is almost like cocktail hour with desserts. This is where drinking for quantity stops and quality begins. Now there are stations of espresso/cappuccino, chocolate fondue, cakes, pastries, fried doughs, cookies, after dinner liquors, candy, ice cream, and just pure gluttony. This not a time to think about the starving children in Africa, nor is it a time to talk about your diet. No one wants to hear about it, suck it up, tomorrow is another day.

On Monday, the newbie who just finished digesting their food that morning will brag about the wedding to their friends at work who have never been to such an event. "You gotta go to one of these weddings......" as if one can buy tickets. This guy will usually feel he has gone through some sort of initiation process and will remember it for the rest of his life.

Summer is Over.....Officially

People often believe summer ends at different times. Some believes it ends on the first day of fall. Many believe it ends labor day weekend. Typically in NYC it is easy to see that after labor day everyone breaks out their black and grey clothing instead of their brighter colors. Talking to a colleague today...she said summer ends when she can't wear flip flops anymore. If I went by that, summer would be half the year.

I often like to categorize summer ending with the last beach outing. I thought my summer had come to an end when I had come back from Europe, started school, and noticed I was wearing my grey pants again (with flip flops). On the other hand, this past weekend I got in some unexpected beach time. It has become a bit tradition for Iz and I to head to Long Beach the week after school opens. I enjoy going this time of year because there is more of an appreciation for the beach since it most likely will be my last time in my two piece before I break out the cords and wool knits. We had a great time...hung out with other teachers outside the classroom, drank some interesting homemade bug juice, and watched some volleyball.

There will always be next summer, but it's sad to say goodbye to what was a great summer. And this morning was the clincher. I woke up, looked in the mirror at my bronzed face, and heard it was going to be a high of 67 degrees on the radio. I was okay with it though.....on a day of remembrance it seemed fitting that the weather was exactly the same as it was 5 years ago.

Back to the Mailbag: More Letters

Here are some blurbs from the letters I have been reading. Enjoy:

"I don't have any expectation of you Ms. Ribods. You are perfect the way you are." (This kid does not have to do any work....ever)

"This summer I went to East Hampton and rode horses. Then I went to Sweden and came home to ride more horses. I have 5 cats, 1 teddy bear, and a hampster named Peter." (I thought this was cute for some reason)

"I tried a new food this summer in Puerto Rico. It was so good, it starts with a P, but I dont know how to spell it. Basically its a beef, chicken or some other kinda meat...but its great." (...or it might be the neighbor's cat)

"I love to play poker with my family and friends." (love it...good italian boy from Tribeca)

"I would like to let you know that I do Tae kwon do and hold a orange belt, but I will be a purple belt soon." (I feel a bit threatened by this statement)

"I love to take care of children and believe it or not i love to take showers." (glad to see one student is clean)

Letters to Ribods

It is pretty common to have my students write me letters at the beginning of the year telling me about their summer, what they hope to accomplish this year, what their expections of me are and so on in order to get to know them better. One thing I ask them is to tell me something interesting that I wouldn't ordinarily know about them. I have only read one set of class letters, but here are some responses (please be aware spelling and grammar have not been changed from the original letter):

"I think you should know that I'm a model, but not right now cuz I took a break but when I get older I going to be a model so tell Tyra to watch out LOL!!" (You go girl!)

"I expect to get A's and B's even if it kills me.....My dog rex he kows how to open the back door to get out sid so we dont need to" (I might lose a student this year and not sure how the second part relates to anything)

"Well if you don't already know I love to cook and experimment with new recipes. I learn alot from the Food Network"

"I like animals and me and my brother are going to build a tank and get a alagator." (The next croc hunter is in my class apparently)

"My expectations of you is not to be strict since it is our last year, you could cut us a little slack." (Yeah right)

"One thing I learned this summer was how to play Madden '07 on my x-box. That game is exciting and it puts you mentally there." (Mentally there? What's it going to take to get mentally tuned into my class?)

"This summer I went to South Africa and tried building jumping for the first time. It was so much fun and I was happy I didn't die. I like to take risks such as jumping from building to building or other things with in reason." (Gotta love a kid's imagination)

.....And this is only one classs. Whoa!

So much to talk about

I have noticed that a few loyal readers have been checking in to see if I posted anything new. Unfortunately over the past week life has been hectic. Upon my return from Europe I had to recover from jet lag, unpack my bags, then pack my room up to move to the big apple just to be followed by unpacking it in the apartment, and getting my classroom together for the school year. And at some point Pluto lost it's planet status.

You will be delighted to hear that I have a few things I have been debating to post on here: Australian metrosexuals, presence of men in female bathrooms in Europe, the possibility of re-joining MySpace, and a recent discussion of my green pea crystals at happy hour.

This weekend is going to be a wash out thanks to Ernesto, so I will have plenty of time on my hands.

-Er