The (Late) Morning After the Storm

So this entire liver flush is done, I am cleaned out as of this morning. I thought I would give you the play by play of the last 24 or so hours:

Yesterday morning: I hit the gym early and drank a gallon of apple juice. This resulted in my early stages of dehydration since I sweated out any water in me and then I replaced it with juice. The bloated feeling was the least of the problems I would encounter later.

12:30pm Yesterday: I had my last rights to a meal. I felt like I was a death row inmate and had to choose a meal that I could savor and enjoy. I went with some left over pork roast from Sunday and some pasta, with a side of 4-bean salad. I am not sure this meal would be recommended since it was big, but I didn't care.

3:30pm yesterday: I had to ingest my first cocktail of Epsom salt. The directions say that 2 tablespoons were to be dissolved in 1 ounce of hot water. After getting a visual of what an ounce looks like and what 2 tablespoons look like, I realized the laws of concentration would not allow the salt to dissolve no matter how hot the water was. I had an extremely large supersaturated solution. So I added more water and a few drops of lemon juice for taste. The solution had no smell, but the taste was something to bring on nightmares. Nothing is worse than expecting one taste (salt water) and getting something else (abrasive bathroom cleaner with paint thinner). I had to hold my nose to take this down and chug OJ to kill the taste in my mouth. My reaction to the drink was similar to Justin making me a vodka cocktail while claiming there is hardly any alcohol in the drink. My face cringes and I get the shakes for a brief moment. Well multiply this by a factor of 10!

5:30pm yesterday: It was time to ingest my second cocktail of Epsom salt. I took a nap after the first one partly out of disgust and feeling violated. This time I switched it up. I understand the reason for the hot water to be mixed with the salt...for chemical reactions occur at higher temperatures inside your body. On the other hand, there is a reason our bodies are 98.6 degrees F. Let my body work towards heating up the water. I also decided to mix the salt with apple juice to kill the horrible taste. Although it was foul tasting apple juice, it beat the hot water.

6:00 yesterday (dinner): My father spent the day in Brooklyn and stopped by my cousin's bakery for bread. He brought home 4 loaves of fresh bread. I was only able to smell the bread and had my three oranges for dinner and laid back down. Within an hour of dinner, the laxative power of the Epsom salt kicked in and my entire body had flushed out all waste products. I weighed myself before and after this moment and lost 5 pounds of water and waste weight. I had to drink water at this point because I was getting very dehydrated and weak.

10:00pm yesterday: So my body is cleaned out, time for oil and lemons. I squeezed out 1/2 cup of fresh lemon juice and added some sugar and water to make very sour lemonade. I also measured out the 1/2 olive oil (1 tablespoon = 14 g fat). They were not mixed because Justin and I had a thought they would curdle. So without much thought, I stuck a straw in the oil and sucked it down. The oil itself did not taste like much, but the consistency was enough to make me gag and gag and gag each time I swallowed. As soon as I was done with that, I chugged the lemon juice. This tasted AMAZING! About 30 minutes before this, I had taken a tylonal PM to make me sleep. I got into bed, laid on my right side with my right knee up to my chest and said a prayer. I even listened to my gallbladder with the stethoscope. It was loud!

7:00am today: I woke up with a headache, dehydrated, and on my way to feeling violated again because I had to take my last Epsom salt cocktail. I took it with apple juice and went back to bed for 3 hours.

10:00 today: The laxative power took over again and I made a run for the bathroom. Whatever water I had in me came out and then there were all these green pea size balls in the bowl. There were about 50 of them, most of them tiny. But I managed to take out the larger ones for inspection. They are soft, wrinkled, and bright green. I even took a photo of them for you after washing them off. You know you have been waiting for this! So I guess I am cleaned out. There weren't a ton of balls because I am fairly young to do this and pretty healthy. I imagine an older person or someone who eats a high fat diet would have more green balls coming out. I managed to eat breakfast, drink water, and I am starting to feel better.

Would I do it again? Maybe....if they somehow involve vodka, kool-aid and vitamin water into the entire regimen. Until then, I'll pass.