Dad's Major Defeat

If you were to look at my father's hand, they would tell you a lot about him. Beyond the calluses and cuts, his hands tell the story of an immigrant who made a living as an electrician, military veteran and grocery store bagger on Bleeker St. He is a guy who can fix anything in my eyes, wire an in-ground pool all by himself, and hang a fixture like no other. Mr. Ribods, like most laborers, comes home from work tired. There are very few things in this world that can keep my father up at night after a long day's work. There isn't much that could force him to have a restless night....unless you are the wildlife that tends to inhabit his property.

Before I go on, there is another tidbit you need to know about my dad. He loves playing games with any sort of animal that may or may not be causing trouble, but he won't be defeated. When the woodchuck was ruining the lawn, he sat on the patio with his pellet gun, eating breakfast until the little guy came out. After a few sleepless nights wondering how he can get him, he shot the woodchuck. When the back lawn was infested with a rare breed of a scorpion/beetle...Mr. Ribods decided to stand on the hill with a pair of long-nose pliers and yank the critters out of their holes. Everytime he got one, he would kill it by pinning the insect to the house right near the side door. Dad got up to about 12 insects that were about 4 inches long. He has also had run-ins with squirrels, chipmunks, turkeys and wasps.


I was home for the past week and was lucky to spend some quality time with my dad. We were set to run to the store together and I went outside to the car. I found him in the backyard looking bewildered. He was staring at his 10-foot, mesh fence that he put up around the house to prevent the deer from eating the shrubs all winter. My mother calls this mesh fence a complete eye soar, even more so when he attempted to hang Christmas lights from this fence. My dad considers his fence the work of a genius...until that afternoon. There he was...standing in front of his fence, looking at a bent steal pole, and torn mesh. Somehow, an animal (possibly a deer) got into the fenced in area, flipped out and attempted to jump over the fence to escape.

Our trip to the store was put off for a moment as we surveyed the crime scene. There was fur on the fence, hoof marks, and forced entry where the fence met the house. My dad stood there shaking his head saying, "how could this happen?" I gave him my condolences and we went to the store. Later that day he fixed the fence, called my neighbor to discuss the issue at hand, called my mother at work, and even went back outside to the fence still in shock. The next morning we were having breakfast and dad seemed a little silent. He told me he was up all night wondering how the deer could have gotten into the area. I wasn't sure how to console someone with this type of defeat, so I said "don't worry...the deer didn't eat the shrubs. So it could have been worse." My dad's response, "do you think your mother will get mad if I put the mechanical deer that light up inside the fenced in area the rest of the winter to deter the deer from trying to enter until spring?" Knowing that I would be returning to my apartment, I said, "not at all. Just do it after I leave."